Bedbugs

Oh, poor Jimmy. He survived a nuclear meltdown, only to trigger the destruction of civilization. Jimmy, the health and safety officer at the local nuclear power plant, had been living in the facility's basement after his wife ejected him from their home. He had flooded the house for the third time, plus the smell from leaving a tuna sandwich to fester behind the couch. 'They had insurance, what was the big deal?' he'd muttered. And the holes he'd made in the roof while cleaning his rifle. 'A poor man's skylight,' he'd declared. For the next six months, Jimmy grumbled to himself, slowly realizing the extent of his wife's contributions to his life, particularly her cleaning up after him. In his little space, gradually, the garbage built up, and then there was that … smell. Every morning, he'd use an old, empty rusty paint bucket to scoop water from a leaking pipe to clean himself. ’I really should do something about that smell and clean up. I could make this place classy.' But, as always, he never quite got around to it. One particularly resilient bed bug, Archimedes, managed to hitch a ride on Jimmy's coworker, Bubba, as he left for work. Upon arriving, Bubba was delighted to find a selection of untouched donuts in the break room. Engrossed in devouring a pink glazed donut with sprinkles, he failed to notice Archimedes jump off his pant leg and scuttle away. The bed bug found its way through a crack in the wall and into the reactor core. Being cold-blooded, Archimedes found the core's to be warm and tingly. Archimedes lounged in the core, bathing in the warm for as long as he could before venturing out in search of food. He eventually stumbled upon Jimmy's “classy” living quarters. Crawling onto the mattress, he discovered a feast in the form of poor Jimmy. The radioactiveactive bite from Archimedes didn't imbue Jimmy with superpowers, but it did manage to clear up his toe fungus. However, the radiation, coupled with the sudden influx of blood, had a dramatic effect on Archimedes. Within hours, it was swollen with eggs, nearly to bursting. Now, the fact that Archemedies was pregnant would have caused him alarm due to the fact he was male. But being that he was an insect and had a very small brain, it didn't cause him any worry. As the morning sun kissed the cooling tower walls, with an audible popping sound and a volcanic eruption of yellow goo expelled Archimedes' offspring. Jimmy awoke with a scream, his body covered in painful, itchy red welts. Forced to seek treatment at the hospital, he began to recover after several rounds of medication. Even his wife visited and appeared to be happy to see him. Jimmy, content for the first time in months, rested peacefully for several days. During those days, the insect fed and rapidly grew to the size of trucks. They were aggressive, fertile, and very stupid. They quickly overwhelmed humanity, leading to the complete collapse of civilization. The army did try to stop the hoard but they were to tough and reproduced too rapidly. Within a week, the world was overrun, leaving only the giant bugs roaming the empty city streets. As for Jimmy, the hospital staff eventually stopped bringing him food, and hunger began to gnaw at him. He rose, unsteady, and searched for a nurse. Finding no one, he ventured into the staff lunchroom. Opening the refrigerator, he discovered a brown bag labeled 'Property of Janice.' With a shrug, he took the bag and found a tuna sandwich. He devoured it and everything else in the fridge. Satisfied, Jimmy decided he needed pants; the backless hospital gown was freezing his cheeks. He found a pair of bright pink scrubs adorned with purple palm trees. 'Oh, fancy clothes,' he thought. With his fancy new clothes he wandered out of the hospital. Confused by the widespread destruction and the absence of people, Jimmy simply shrugged and continued walking. He recoiled in disgust at the sight of the strange, hairless 'cows' roaming the streets. He nearly jumped out of his skin when one of the creatures nudged him. Turning, he found it surprisingly friendly, as if it recognized him. Eventually, he climbed onto its back and rode off into the setting sun."